John Gray – Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus Part 1

Oct 22, 2020 | Mental Health, Relationships

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John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. In hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s.

Dr. Gray’s books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller.

Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance.

His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance and better sleep. He has appeared repeatedly on Oprah, as well as on The Dr. Oz Show, TODAY, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, and others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters.

John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife, Bonnie. They have been happily married for over 30 years and have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.


Don’t be so dependant on your partner to make you happy instead look to your partner to make you happier”

– john gray

john and I discussed the following in this episode:


  • Universities won’t let John speak because they view the idea of Men and Women being different as Sexist.


  • He points out that it’s great that Men and Women have changing roles but that their biology has changed very little.


  • John sees hormonal imbalance in Men and Women as a real problem, low estrogen in Women and low testosterone in Men, when these hormones are out of balance it creates adrenaline and cortisol (the stress hormone).


  • The key for Men is to be free to change themselves and for Women to change themselves but not for either to seek to change each other through nagging and complaining, this helps to re-balance hormonal levels.


  • For Women it’s important to allow them to share their feelings rather than be fixed by their men


  • How John’s new book Beyond Men Are from Mars Women are from Venus focusses on how to address the hormonal imbalances causing relationship problems


  • Understanding how Men need Cave Time in order to process feelings and why Women need to process emotions through sharing. 


  • John’s process for writing down how he is feeling when dealing with difficult emotions in order to deal with layers of emotion, the process of analysing and how this produces testosterone


  • How people are so easily offended and we are living in a victim state, John see’s people getting offended when he talks about how great Men are and how great Women are.


  • The way in which separation often performs a relationship reset because Men have ‘Cave Time’ and Women stop looking towards their husband as the cause of their unhappiness.


  • The whole concept of parental alienation, and the bias towards Men in the family courts.



  • John references The Boy Crisis he wrote with Warren Farrell and the incentives we have for Women to be unmarried.


  • How it’s hard for women because they work so hard on relationships, its difficult for them to see themselves as the problem.



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