Oscar Trimboli – How to Develop Deep Listening and Understanding

May 26, 2020 | Relationships, Visionary Men

Oscar Trimboli is on a quest to create 100 million Deep Listeners in the world. He is an author, Host of the Apple Award winning podcast—Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. He is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in homes, workplaces and the world.

Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organisations, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organisations can have when they listen beyond the words.

He consults to organisations including Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what’s unsaid by the customers and employees.

Oscar lives in Sydney with his wife Jennie, where he helps first-time runners and ocean swimmers conquer their fears and contributes to the cure for cancer as part of Can Too, a cancer research charity. He is also a Dad and Granddad himself.

“the neuroscience tells us we speak at 125 words per minute and we can listen at 400 words per minute so we are programmed to fill in the gaps  for the other 275 words, we are distracted by the speakers story, the story in our own head and  electronic devices”.

– oscar trimboli



oscar’s top listening tips 

Step 1: Switch off electronics

Step 2: Drink a glass of water every half hour

Step 3: Take a deep break in through your nose out of mouth

Step 4: Do you pay attention or give attention?


oscar and I discussed the following in this episode:

  • Neuroscience tells us we speak at 125 words a minute and we can listen at 400 words per minute, we are programmed to fill the gap and we have many distractions.

  • The difference between a distracted and deep listener is that a deep listener will realise that they are distracted.

  • The main thing is to know is that you will be distracted, and the most common electronic distraction is your mobile phone. The easiest first step here is to switch phone to flight mode.

  • The cognitive effect of concentrating and how software developers are using the same tactics to keep you hooked on phones as they do on slot machines in Las Vegas.

  • The story of how one man’s married life dramatically changed through the simple practice of deep listening.

  • How to navigate the timing of important conversations in married life and allocate time for this.

  • Men listen to fix women listen to feel. It’s important to know the difference and ascertain what is required in each situation.

  • Men and women communicate differently and in communications with women eye contact is more important whereas men can talk without eye contact in a ‘side to side’ scenario.

  • The power of conversing in a car!

  • How to listen to your children and coming down to their level, the impact your parents had on your own listening skills.

  • The part teachers play in your concept of being listened to and how a teacher who listens properly can see your potential which last decades

  • The power of deep listening is not making sense of what the speaker is saying but giving them time to make sense of their own thoughts.

  • 1 in 9 chance of a person saying what they mean, if you help a speaker make sense of what they want to say the first thing is not always what they necessarily mean.

  • How silence and listening play out in a sales and negotiation setting.

  • The power of two phrases & two questions in deep listening “what do you mean by that” and “what else”, “tell me more”, “and”

  • The emotional impact of deep listening and how it occurs through the questions above and listening.

  • Setting your orientation before you enter into the conversation and allowing space between conversations.

  • The power of co-constructing a great conversation, the aspects of control and organic conversation.

  • How to book end your conversation with two questions “what was the most productive thing in our conversation so far?”, “is there anything else we should have discussed that we haven’t”?

To find out more about oscar and how to get in touch with him:

Oscar’s Website – www.listeningquiz.com 

Oscar’s Book – Deep Listening 

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