Paul McGregor – My Dads Suicide and Me: One Mans Journey of Discovery

May 12, 2020 | Contribution, Mental Health

Paul McGregor is a speaker, business owner, podcaster and writer who cares deeply about mental health having lost his Dad to suicide when he was 18.

Life was pretty normal for Paul up until suicide hit his family. In his book Man up Man Down Paul recounts the story of his Dad taking his own life, the impact it had on him and his family and how it led to a life long journey of self-knowledge and awareness. Paul describes how at times he needed to man up – but not all the time.


Paul has run multiple business, lectured at London College of Fashion, and spoke at many events. He has featured in The Huffington Post, Sky News and BBC News.

Now married with two boys of his own he now shares his experiences and the experiences of others in standing up to the stigma of mental health, early intervention and better support.


“when your perception of life is intact you look to the future and you get excited about whats about to happen, when it collapses you cant see past the darkness, you don’t think about tomorrow , about next year, or your potential future”.

– paul mcgregor

Paul and I discussed the following in this episode:

  • How lockdown has presented a time of reflection, questioning and change going forward.

  • Why men are considering what is important to them and what they have done in order to stay ‘busy’.

  • His Dads suicide and how it came about, how from the outside it looked like Pauls Dad had everything.

  • The nature of his Dads personality and how things happened very quickly.

  • His Dads behaviour changing almost over-night, how his family never thought it was something would happen to them.

  • Paul putting on a ‘mask’ as an alpha male for 3 years, how people often put on this ‘mask’ to the outside world to get through things.

  • How the world carries on and that strange feeling in the aftermath of life carrying on.

  • The different emotions around his Dad taking his own life, and how Paul’s opinions have changed on this over the years. The anger and unanswered questions.

  • The nature of grief, why it’s different for everyone and the reference points in time we sometimes put in the recovery process.

  • How Perception radically changes when becoming suicidal and why understanding this mind set is key

  • The point at which someone sees no reason to live and the part hope plays

  • How meaning in life expands you perception of life.

  • Rory O’Connor describes how there may often be more than one thing than contribute to suicidal thought.

  • How people are flippant about stuff like OCD and how people joke about this even though it can be debilitating, Paul has wondered about OCD in relation to Dad and his behaviour.

  • Pure O, the nature of peoples relationship with thought, and how this can be the real problem in getting people to talk about it.

  • The balance between needing to man up at times and man down at times, the discussion around this in the man space and why many commentators on this have different views.

  • Finding what works for you and accepting the emotions you have right now but also know that it’s appreciating thoughts and pushing yourself forward.

  • The amount of people in self-help right now who are parading a bullshit back story in order to make money and craft their message.

  • The part meaning plays in Pauls life today and how he sees it.

To find out more about paul and how to get in touch with him:




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Paul’s Book: Man Up Man Down



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